But How He Lives
by ArsenicLollipop
Summary: Oneshot. After a life of trying to be just like L and nothing like Near, Mello wonders...who is he, really? MelloxMatt


Matt sat on the bank of the river Styx, looking up at the cloudy gray sky. Mello sat next to him, picking at the dead grass. The two had been dead for a not that long, although to the two of them, it felt like an eternity. Matt and Mello disagreed sometimes, but this one thing, they knew they could agree on perfectly:

Death sucks.

Seriously, it sucks.

To Mello, it was a complete disappointment. Sure, he hadn't been expecting to go to heaven, but this wasn't Hell in the least. It was just…boring. And Matt…? Well, Matt just shook his head and thought about lighting up a smoke.

"Hey, Mello," Matt said, turning towards the blonde, "You've barely said anything since we first came here. What's wrong? The angels cut out your tongue?"

Mello shook his head. He was obviously upset. Matt could tell that he wasn't just going through chocolate withdrawal. Something was eating away at his mind. Matt hated to see Mello sad. He had to do something now.

"Mello, tell me. Come on. I know you better. You should at least be content knowing that Near owes it all to us that Kira fell."

Mello turned towards Matt and replied, "That's just it!!"

"What?" Matt asked.

"All my life, all I did is what everyone wanted me to do!! All my life, all I did was try to live up to L's expectations, and be the opposite of Near."

"Yeah, so?" Matt asked, sticking a twig in his mouth.

Mello glared at Matt.

"What?"

"All my life, I tried to be what L wanted me to be. All my life, I tried to be what Near wasn't," Mello said, his voice sharp as a razor, "Then tell me, Matt. Tell me…who am I? Really?"

Matt stared at Mello, for a while, then shook his head. He stood up, and started walking along the riverbank, occasionally stopping and picking things up as he did.

"What the hell are you doing!?" Mello asked the redhead. Matt walked over to Mello with a pile of rocks in his hands.

"Okay," Matt said. "All you have to do is answer these questions for me. That cool?"

"Yeah, I guess," Mello said.

"Alright. You are Mihael Keehl, the underdog of the new world. Correct?"

Mello nodded. Matt put a rock down on the gray sand.

"You are Mihael Keehl, the underdog of the new world and chocolate lover. Correct?"

Mello nodded again. Matt put another rock on the gray sand right next to the first one.

"You are Mihael Keehl, the underdog of the new world and chocolate lover, who was so badass that you took down someone Kira couldn't. Correct?"

Mello smiled his crooked smile, and said, "Yeah."

Matt put down a third rock down next to the other two.

"You are Mihael Keehl, the underdog of the new world and chocolate lover, who was so badass that you took down someone Kira couldn't; who blew himself up using high-powered explosives and lived to tell the tale. Correct?"

Mello nodded, fingered his scar, and closed his eyes, remembering the old days. Matt put down a few more pebbles.

"You are Mihael Keehl, the underdog of the new world and chocolate lover, who was so badass that you took down someone Kira couldn't; who blew himself up using high-powered explosives and lived to tell the tale. The man who proved that it wasn't how a man died, but how he lived. Correct?"

"Hell yeah."

Matt put down more pebbles. Mello didn't know what was happening, but he knew that Matt was really good at making him feel as if he was worth it.

"You are Mihael Keehl, the underdog of the new world and chocolate lover, who was so badass that you took down someone Kira couldn't; who blew himself up using high-powered explosives and lived to tell the tale. The man who proved that it wasn't how a man died, but how he lived. And," Matt said, quieter than before, "You are Mello, my one and only love."

Mello looked Matt in the eye, bright green meeting pale blue. Matt glanced down at the sand, and Mello looked down with him, and gasped.

In the gray sand lay the pebbles, arranged in a beautiful heart shape that seemed to reflect the blue and green in the eyes of the two lovers. Mello looked up at Matt, who smiled.

"Correct?"

Mello simply nodded, and said, "Yes."

The two stood up and walked together, Matt's hand held within Mello's. Chaos and Neutrality, Green and Blue, Yellow and Red, left that spot forever, leaving no proof that the two were ever there except for that small heart made of memories and love.

But that was all the proof ever needed.


End file.
